Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

Without further ado. My thoughts on THAT wedding.

As someone who has been married more than once, I have thoughts. What are yours?
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Harder to do on Ozempic.

Happy 4th to those who can still wave those flabby arms, enjoy that extra burger from the grill. To those that cannot, enjoy the extra salad.
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Should I apply?

Anna, call me! 📞
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On this episode of Kitchen Table Talk with Mel…

Just call me legal zoom. Thanks to my in house counsel, my incredible husband Steve for his legal prowess on how to interpret what’s going on with Diddy.

Law and Order… call me. I’d love to guest star as the defense attorney.

In all seriousness, what are everyone’s thoughts on what went down with this case?
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Right now on #grouptext

@lisahochstein joins me to to talk about life after a high-profile split, stepping into her power on the new season of Real Housewives of Miami, and why bouncing back on national TV might just be the best revenge.

It’s raw, real, and oh-so-RHOM.

Click the link in bio now to listen!
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Tomorrow on #grouptext @lisahochstein from Real Housewives of Miami joins me to talk all about the new season. You won’t want to miss it! ...

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ICYMI: Mario Cantone, @macantone, does not hold back…now on #GroupText!

From “And Just Like That” tea to Liza Minnelli stories and jaw-dropping impressions (Cher, Joan, you name it). We also go back to when it started.

SATC fans, buckle up and click the link in bio now to listen and don’t forget to subscribe.
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Labubu more like Lapoopoo.

I’ve seen so many celebs with these on their various luxury bags. A friend of mine gave me one and I don’t get it.

What am I missing?
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