Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

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Group Text with Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

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#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

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I am all about comfy footwear and today’s Gift G

I am all about comfy footwear and today’s Gift Guide features two of my favorite sneakers.

First up @tretorn.They come in tons of colors and they are super on trend. Also my absolute favorite white sneakers are @veja. They tend to run big so order a size down.

Both a must have item and you can find these both on my link in bio!@#

What’s your must have sneaker?

I’m joining the #notalonechallenge. Nobody shoul

I’m joining the #notalonechallenge. Nobody should be alone over the holidays and #notalonechallenge is raising money and awareness for those who do not have access or resources for mental health care.

I’m challenging @helloross and @countessluann to join in! For more information go to notalonechallenge.org.

If 90s grunge music screamed, “I’m not ok,”

If 90s grunge music screamed, “I’m not ok,” today’s guest, singer/songwriter @jewel dulcetly asked, “What can we do to feel better?” Her 12-times platinum 1995 record “Pieces of You” is a touchstone of the decade, and paved the way for her long and meaningful career in music, acting, art and advocacy. Jewel still asks, “What can I do…” now with the #NotAloneChallenge which raises awareness and money for mental health resources through celebrity auction items – including a personalized song written by Jewel herself. Click the link in bio now to listen!
#podcast #interview #singer #singersongwriter #musician #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #notalonechallenge #90s #90smusic

#TBT My mom loved bringing her dogs everywhere, so

#TBT My mom loved bringing her dogs everywhere, so much so that she tried to pass Teagen off as a new kind of Hermes purse – the Barkin’

All new “Brutally Honest” on @fireside tomorro

All new “Brutally Honest” on @fireside tomorrow with the hilarious and charming @helloross as my very special guest live at 10:30am pt/ 1:30 et. You won’t want to miss it!

Who else has too many leftovers? 😉 #JoansJokeCa

Who else has too many leftovers? 😉
#JoansJokeCards #WWJS #JoansJokes #comedy #jokes #laughter #funny #standup #standupcomedy #comedian #femalecomedian

I’m sharing all my must have products for the ho

I’m sharing all my must have products for the holiday season. From affordable outerwear, to the comfiest sneakers, and some must have beauty finds, you can find all my favorite products in my link in bio. You can also check the highlights under Holiday Gift Guide.

Have you done any of your holiday shopping yet?

ICYMI: Sex education has come a long way since “

ICYMI: Sex education has come a long way since “the birds and the bees,” but it seems most adults are still reluctant to talk about sexuality. Not my guest Liz Goldwyn, @goldilocksg, whose new book, “Sex, Health and Consciousness,” tackles every practical aspect of human sexuality. Liz brings behind-closed-doors topics like pornography and masturbation into the open and also shares how the right vibrator and an iCal schedule invitation can keep things hot and heavy in a sputtering long-term relationship. For more check out @thesexed. Click link in bio now to listen!
#podcast #interview #sexed #sexuality #sexexpert #expert #sex

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