Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

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Group Text with Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

Right now on #grouptext, I talk to comedian, writer, and actor @dewayneperkins who co-stars in the Apple TV comedy with Seth Rogen, “The Studio.” We talk about why he got into stand up comedy, his time with Second City, and how stand up comedy is perceived and the credibility he was able to achieve. Click the link in my bio and don’t forget to subscribe to never miss an episode ...

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@itscarolburnett on my mother’s daytime talk show “The Joan Rivers Show”
#throwbackthursday
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ICYMI: This week on my podcast #grouptext, I am joined by actress @carriepreston. Known for her work on “The Good Wife,” and spinoff “Elsbeth,” which has two seasons on @paramountplus, we get to talk about how the roles in Hollywood for women have shifted (for the better), her love of the theater and the love of her life, husband Michael Emerson. Click the link in bio now to listen. ...

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I am one lucky mom. I have an incredible son who I am so proud of. Thanks Cooper for putting up with me and letting me still do your laundry.

Also I decided to change into another dress half way through the night of the wedding reception. Designer is the fabulous @brunellocucinelli of @brunellocucinelli_brand separate top and skirt. I loved this look.
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This week on my podcast #grouptext, I am joined by actress @carriepreston. Known for her work on “The Good Wife,” and spinoff “Elsbeth,” which has two seasons on @paramountplus, we get to talk about how the roles in Hollywood for women have shifted (for the better), her love of the theater and the love of her life, husband Michael Emerson. Click the link in bio now to listen. ...

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My mother giving away her own shoes for a laugh
#throwbackthursday
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