Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

Melissa Rivers | Group Text

Group Text with Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

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#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

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melissariversofficial

Deep thoughts… by yours truly #humpdayhumor

Deep thoughts… by yours truly
#humpdayhumor

This week on “In Bed With Joan,” none other th

This week on “In Bed With Joan,” none other than the granddaughter my mother wish she had, the wonderful @kellyosbourne.

For the full episode go to my official YouTube channel to watch now!

ICYMI: Today my guest is Marc Saltarelli Director

ICYMI: Today my guest is Marc Saltarelli Director and Producer of the documentary about Studio One, one of the first safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. We talk about making @studiooneforever and how my mother hosted the first AIDS benefit at the famed disco. Click the link in bio now to listen.

My mother always loved a good punchline. #joansjok

My mother always loved a good punchline.
#joansjokecards #joansjokes #comedy #laughter

Today my guest is Marc Saltarelli Director and Pro

Today my guest is Marc Saltarelli Director and Producer of the documentary about Studio One, one of the first safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. We talk about making @studiooneforever and how my mother hosted the first AIDS benefit at the famed disco. Click the link in bio now to listen.

My mother in the UK performing her stand up routin

My mother in the UK performing her stand up routine. #throwbackthursday

Just waiting for that second cup of coffee to hit

Just waiting for that second cup of coffee to hit to turn up the rage.
Via @thedeepestmessages

ICYMI: Today on #grouptext I am talking to Actress

ICYMI: Today on #grouptext I am talking to Actress and Producer @_nicole_eggert about her documentary “After Baywatch.” We discuss what really happened behind the scenes of the show that was a global phenomenon and how the actors felt reliving that time. Catch the documentary now on @hulu and click the link in bio to listen!

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