Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

Today on #grouptext the Director of the new documentary, “The Judd Family: Truth Be Told,” @alexdeandirector joins me to talk about her process in making this must watch film. The documentary explores the generational trauma that plagued Naomi Judd as well as some very revealing and heartbreaking truths that Wynonna and Ashley Judd shared with Alexandra, and ultimately the world. This two part documentary airs tomorrow May 10th and Sunday May 11th exclusively on @lifetimetv and you will not want to miss it. Click the link in bio now to listen to this episode and don’t forget to subscribe. ...

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My mother’s appearance on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. My mother was incredibly touched when she was asked to be on the show 25 years after she had last been on.

I’m thrilled to be on the show tonight to talk more about the new special Joan Rivers: Dead Funny An All Star Tribute which airs May 13th at 10pm ET on @nbc and @peacock.
#fallontonight #throwbackthursday
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Thank you @pagesix and @siriusxm XM for having me on today!

Excited for you all to see the special Joan Ricers: Dead Funny All Star Tribute May 13th on @nbc and @peacock.

It really is hilarious and my mother would have loved it. I hope you do too.
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What a thrill to be back this morning on @todayshow talking about the new special I executive produced, “Joan Rivers: A Dead Funny All Star Tribute,” which airs May 13th on @nbc at 10pm ET and streaming on @peacock. Check out my stories and click the link to watch the segment.

Big thanks for having me… now I need some coffee.
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ICYMI: Right now on #grouptext, I’m joined by actress and director @moonfrye along with @angelcharissma twin sister of the late Aaron Carter about the new documentary “The Carters: Hurts to Love You.” We discuss what prompted Angel to want to tell the story of her brother and what drew Soleil to want to direct. We also talk about the price of childhood fame and what life is like now for the remaining Carter siblings. Watch the documentary now on @paramountplus and click the link in bio to listen to this episode. ...

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