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Welcome to the official website of Mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she & her friends are texting about…This includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet & the annoying number of “reboots”, to being an empty nester & so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest & best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

Entertaining

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I'm alone.

Dieting

I don't mind being hit by Cupid's arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

Valentine's Day

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

Winter

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It's inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

Memorial Day

She's kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

Fleet Week

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