Summer has officially* come to an end, so it’s time to look back and write a “what I did on my summer vacation” entry.
What I did on my summer “vacation” was sweat, schlep and get scowled at. My handsome, darling, wonderful, teenaged son, Cooper, will be graduating from high school next June … assuming he doesn’t wind up in jail, in Betty Ford or on Donald Trump’s enemies list, so we spent the hottest months of the year traveling around the country “college shopping.” And as much as I love shopping, I much prefer jewelry and clothes for me, as opposed to potential schools for him.
This summer, Cooper and I visited seven colleges that are a) interested in him, b) he’s interested in them, or c) is in an area that have non-stop flights from Los Angeles, and a decent hotel for Mommy to stay in. Good shopping nearby would close the deal for me.
I don’t know why Cooper thinks he should go to college where he wants to go; someone needs to tell him that his college education is not all about him.
I don’t know why I’m worrying like this, I hold the trump card. If the school he’s interested doesn’t meet my criteria (see paragraph 3, specifically item ‘C’) I simply tell him that Ive always wanted to pick a post graduate degree, and this seems like a perfect match for both. If you close your eyes and listen closely, you can hear the screaming no matter where you are.
If none of those things pan out, I’m going to send him to Sweden, Norway or Iceland for a “gap year.” Yes, they’re really far away, but I’m really tired of sweating
*Summer never officially ends in California. It’s always hot. Which is bad, because it’s creating a lot of wildfires. But it’s good, because it’s fun to watch the movie stars’ make-up run on the award show’s red carpets.