Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

Melissa Rivers | Group Text

Group Text with Melissa Rivers

New Episodes Weekly!

Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

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Time passes quickly. Over thirty years ago I got a call that was unexpected, and dare I say, changed the red carpet and awards shows for the better. I don’t believe we could do now what we did then, but I look back at those times with a lot of fondness… except for that time I tried going platinum blonde.
#throwbackthursday
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Figured it was a good time to bring this one back. Happy Hanukkah. ...

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From Bravo blowups to Taylor & Travis to the Met Gala officially losing its shine… @davidyontef from @behindvelvetrope and I break down the year’s biggest pop-culture whiplash moments.

If it happened, trust me, we absolutely have thoughts.

Link in bio now (watch before the next scandal drops).
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Not usually at a loss for words… ...

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My mother was always adamant that as a Jew we absolutely still had to have a tree. So of course I still honor her wishes. Spot the bees.

Happy holidays.
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ICYMI: If you had a TV in the ’90s, you know exactly who Susan Powter is. She was everywhere… and then she wasn’t.

Susan sat down with me on #GroupText to talk about why she finally agreed to a documentary, what she’s been doing all this time, how she feels about the world meeting her again and the advice she still holds close from my mother, Joan Rivers.

Link in bio to listen right now!
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