Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

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Group Text with Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

I have @amyrachelleking tomorrow on #grouptext. We talk about what actually happened behind the scenes of “19 Kids and Counting” and her new book.

Link in bio. You won’t want to miss this!
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I’m not saying you need these, but… you need these. Run, don’t walk.

The Sephora Savings Event is here and I suddenly became the most persuasive person you know.

Again, this is not a drill.

Check out my stories for all my favorite products available right now at Sephora.
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ICYMI:
If you love Dateline, like I do, buckle up.

@mandy_matney, the reporter who helped take down the Murdaugh dynasty joins me to spill the truth behind the series on Hulu, Murdaugh: Death in the Family

We talk obsession, corruption, and what it takes to chase justice when everyone tells you to stop.

New #GroupText episode live now, link in bio!
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My mother’s daytime talk show. Phyllis Diller always has the best one liners. Happy Sunday! ...

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If you love Dateline, like I do, buckle up.

@mandy_matney, the reporter who helped take down the Murdaugh dynasty joins me to spill the truth behind the series on Hulu, Murdaugh: Death in the Family

We talk obsession, corruption, and what it takes to chase justice when everyone tells you to stop.

New #GroupText episode live now, link in bio!
...

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My name is Mel and I’m a chocoholic. As long as it’s not too sweet and full of nuts.

The team made me taste test @traderjoes chocolates just in time for Halloween.

What’s your favorite Halloween treat?
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Tomorrow on my podcast #grouptext @mandy_matney jthe journalist who broke the Murdaugh case and the Executive Producer of the series “Murdaugh: Death in the Family” on Hulu shares all the gripping details of the case that shook the south.

Link in bio to listen and don’t forget to subscribe.
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ICYMI:
From the man who made betrayal look romantic in Ghost to the president everyone loved (and loved to hate) on Scandal, Tony Goldwyn has done it all.

He joins me today on the podcast to talk about going toe-to-toe with Paul Thomas Anderson and Leo DiCaprio, why family means everything, getting bitten by the show biz bug and his new podcast with his daughter that might just make you call your own parents.

Link in bio now. Only on #GroupText.
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