Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman

“When you’re invited to a dinner party, you should always be prepared with three good stories to tell.”
-Joan Rivers

But my mother never said those stories had to be true….

Welcome to the official website of mother, TV Producer, Red Carpet Fashion Expert & New York Times Best Selling Author Melissa Rivers.

Melissa Rivers | Group Text

Group Text with Melissa Rivers

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Melissa’s podcast where she shares whatever she and her friends are texting about…this includes everything from fashion on the Red Carpet and the annoying number of “reboots,” to being an empty nester and so much more. Hear unvarnished truths from some of the funniest and best in the business. You won’t want to miss this!

#JoansJokes

Remember, formal occasions are really just informal ones with uncomfortable clothes.

ENTERTAINING

I stepped on my talking scale and it told me to come back when I’m alone.

DIETING

I don’t mind being hit by Cupid’s arrow, as long as the tip was dipped in Botox.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Winter has been so cold, my breasts froze to my knees.

WINTER

I thought I was getting a terrific suntan, but it turned out my liver spot had just grown.

SUMMER

It’s inconsiderate that Memorial Day kicks off the unofficial outdoor barbecue season, but never includes a tribute to Joan of Arc.

SUMMER

She’s kissed so many sailors, her lips go in and out with the tide.

FLEET WEEK

Latest News

Most Hollywood actors only dream about the kind of iconic career that Robert Redford had. From “All the President’s Men,” to “The Sting,” to “The Way We Were,” Redford made an indelible mark of the movie business with his subtle performances and classic good looks. RIP ...

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ICYMI:
From Blue Collar Comedy Tour to becoming a household catchphrase, Larry the Cable Guy is still “Git-R-Done.”

Right now on the  #GroupText podcast we talk comedy staying power, navigating political humor today and what keeps him relevant decades later.

Link in bio to listen and don’t forget to subscribe.
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This was one of my mother’s favorite quotes. It has stuck with me when times feel like they are impossible. ...

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From Blue Collar Comedy Tour to becoming a household catchphrase, Larry the Cable Guy is still “Git-R-Done.”

Right now on the  #GroupText podcast we talk comedy staying power, navigating political humor today and what keeps him relevant decades later.

Link in bio to listen and don’t forget to subscribe.
...

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Today marks 24 years since September 11th. May we never forget the lives lost and the heroes who showed courage and compassion. ...

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Tomorrow my guest is the hilarious Larry the Cable Guy. We talk about his life away from the spotlight living in Nebraska, the state of comedy and what’s next.

Check it out at Melissa Rivers #grouptext wherever you get your podcasts.
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This weekend I was thrilled to attend the performance of Joan at The Cape Playhouse, which runs through September 20th to discuss how the play has evolved in a post show discussion.

Since before Covid I’ve been working on this with my writing partner Larry and then Danny Goldstein brought it to life with @tyeblue1 directing this cast.

Thanks to the cast and crew for a wonderful night of theater.
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This week on my podcast, #grouptext I get real. ICYMI:

New house. New marriage. Total vacation nightmare. Oh, and a NEW Joan Rivers documentary in the works. My summer was… a lot.

All new #grouptext episode where I talk about it all. Click the link in bio or look up Melissa Rivers #grouptext wherever you get your podcasts!
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